I've been an avid blogger in the past. A very avid blogger. In middle school, I ran what my friends have recently referred to as a "Gossip Girl blog" for my time--very in-depth posts about each and every school day with entire paragraphs designated to each class period, plus my home life, plus my fangirling over Lord of the Rings. In high school, I took a break because my dad cracked down on what information my family made available online to the public, and so I kept several (very emotional) journals instead. As I started college, I began microblogging on Tumblr, and suddenly I had to limit my posting queue to 24 posts a day so as not to overwhelm my followers; granted, many of these posts were gifsets of Doctor Who and Harry Potter, and yes, still Lord of the Rings, as well as one-liner nightblogging episodes, but there were also quite a few long, personal, thought-out posts and a hefty volume of responses to theological questions sent to my blog inbox.
Then suddenly a few months ago, I decided to take a break.
It relieved my husband (then fiance), mostly. But it really has relieved me, too. I don't need to spend what was sometimes hours scanning through my seemingly infinite dash each morning to catch up on what I missed the night before. I don't need to read through (or ignore) hundreds of angry diatribes on social issues other people seem so much more qualified to speak on than myself (or so, sooo much less, in some cases as well). I don't need to be wary of accidentally seeing really weird porn, even though the people I followed were usually pretty good about that stuff and I learned to use a tag blacklist. Instead, I find myself able to breathe online. And I still see enough pictures of cute animals and Jensen Ackles that I'm really not missing much from it.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Well then, Evelyn, if your old blog was such a chore, why did you start this one up?" And that's valid.
I'm well aware that keeping a regular blog can be hard work, especially in a more "adult" format (like this) than I've grown accustomed to (Tumblr). I'm a little anxious about it. I hope I have enough solid material to write on, and I hope what I do write doesn't come off sounding like it's from 1) a pretentious snob or, even worse, 2) the fictional TAMN from Seriously, So Blessed! And I hope that while I am (...hopefully) writing to an audience that that fact doesn't take over for me. Because at its root, this is supposed to be a way for me to defuse my stress and reignite my creativity. This blog is for me. At first Tumblr was good for that, and its method was easy--but it was too easy; when a pastime became a timesuck became a stressful compulsion that was supposed to be an outlet of relaxation, it became a problem, and so I think my work is done over there. But anyway, here I am, trying again, and being incredibly self-aware about it.
Writing is healthy for me, and it's the best expression of self I feel I can give. And yes, in this blog I will probably still blather on about the Fellowship or the Golden Trio or Brothers feels, and admittedly there will be Pinterest fodder documented here as well, but... I'm excited about this, guys. I'm real excited. In the hubs's words, I am about to do some "real. Adult. Blogging." So humor me? This is going to be GREAT.